Paul Kapustka's Blog
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March 04, 2006
Winners, Losers in AT&T-BellSouth Takeover
Here's your low-rent, seat-of-the-pants Saturday night analysis of the forthcoming AT&T takedown of BellSouth. Our immediate list of the biggest losers (Vonage) and winners (Qwest) will certainly be amended over time, but please feel free to chip in with your own takes in the comments field!
Since Sunday is Oscar night, maybe we should hand out "Whitacres" instead of golden statuettes. And gosh, it's just not right to call anyone a loser, is it? So let's be positive here. On with the show.
CATEGORY: Best Independent VoIP Company That Just Lost A Prospective Buyer
And the Whitacre goes to: VONAGE HOLDINGS, as in "holding pattern for an IPO that may not ever happen."
Well, if Jeffrey Citron and pals were waiting around for Duane Ackerman to ease their pain before getting to the public markets, Duane is no longer in the house. Guess this story is no longer the scoop it never was, eh? JC and pals can now only wish Rich had been right.
CATEGORY: 15 Minutes Of Fame That Won't Be Duplicated
The Whitacre goes to: BILL SMITH, (soon to be former) BellSouth CTO. You may remember Bill -- why it was just in December that he was sounding like ol' Ed hisself. We're guessing Bill took up the "not on my pipes" cause because Duane Ackerman is a genteel sort, and wouldn't stoop to that kinda talk, especially in the papers. So Bill got some headlines, congrats, here's a locker next to Dorman's at the yacht club. And yes, you can take all that BellSouth logo stuff with you. Won't be needin' it much 'round here anymore.
CATEGORY: The RBOC who now looks prettier as the bar gets to closing time
The Whitacre goes to: Qwest and Dick Notebaert, who (to carry on the bar analogy) held their liquor long enough to be the last independent standing... and thereby almost inevitably Verizon's next pawn to purchase. This ain't no shotgun marriage -- unless you consider that the gun may be pointed at both heads. The question traders are asking themselves Sunday is how do I buy Qwest stock when the markets are closed?
CATEGORY: Best retirement package negotiation
The Whitacre goes to: Duane Ackerman. $65 billion? Hell, forget playing golf at Pebble Beach. Big Ed will probably see to it that you tee off with Tiger amongst the azaleas. Guess your why build fiber plan makes sense now, eh? Hell! Let Ed figger that one out!
CATEGORY: Biggest RBOC tool, competition division
The Whitacre goes to: Whichever regulator/lawmaker is first to utter the phrase that the AT&T/BellSouth takeover "will actually increase competition" for services. This one is still open for betting, and any reasonable facsimile will work for wagering purposes. Early line has Walter McCormick at Even; Kevin Martin at 5-3; Sen. John Ensign at 3-1; and Hayley Barbour at 5-1. Remember, AT&T employees are not eligible since they are required to say dithery things like this due to contract clauses.
Posted by paul at March 4, 2006 10:25 PM